“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”
“Let go and let God.”
These were the first few words out of the yoga instructor’s mouth this morning. Such simple words for such a seemingly impossible task.
”Complete Yoga” is a class offered by Faith Fuzed Fitness, and I’mI’m ashamed to say this is the first time I have taken this class. It started with the Complete Target, an assessment that indicates where you are in spirit, soul, and body. My affirmation for the morning was, “my thoughts are godly thoughts.” Ha! Through almost the entire class, my thoughts were far less than godly! I struggled, “Come on, God! Give me this amazing spiritual moment, help me to be new and refreshed!” That moment never came. The next thing I knew, I was in the car headed home, crying, and fighting with my husband.
In moments of failure, turn to God.
I felt like a failure, a failure as a wife and Christian. When I got home, I wanted to write; I read over the verse I chose for the class 2 Timothy 1:7 ”For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” I initially chose this verse because of the three words, “power” and “sound mind.” But the one I skipped over was “fear” I’mI’m not scared, was I? I recalled walking into class, wanting to cry before the instructor even began to speak. I forced myself to “suck it up,” and my heart had hardened the remainder of the class. “Let go and let God.” was the last thing I wanted to do. Why? Why is it so hard to let God do His work in and through me? Because of FEAR, I develop a lump in my throat when I think about opening up my feelings to anyone. I cringe when I’mI’m called out in a public place. My heart drops when I’mI’m asked to speak on stage. But God puts us in these uncomfortable situations to step out in faith and to deepen our relationship with Him. In every single one of these situations that I feel are uncomfortable is an excellent opportunity to share His goodness and Love. Isaiah 35:4 says, ”Say to those who have an anxious heart, “Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with a vengeance, with recompense of God. He will come and save you.”
“Let go and let God.” are words I will speak more often. I pray we stop being a people who live in fear and start living and clinging to God’sGod’s word. May the Lord help us know we are a spirit of power, Love, and self-discipline.
Let this song by Matt Hammitt be an inspiration to surrender to God.
Verse of the week Esther 4:14
The story of Esther begins as the best spa treatments I could ever imagine! All day, every day going through beauty treatments and having assistants with all you are having done. It seems like an ideal time. I could so easily get lost in all the lavishes King Xerxes offered. She captured the attention so much that the king made her the queen, and he would give her anything she asked! What a Cinderella story!
The past comes to the surface.
But there was a flaw in this fairytale life. Esther was queen in a crucial time where her people were threatened with annihilation. It was the purpose of Haman to “destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews- young and old, women and children” (Esther 3:13 NIV). Mordecai, Esther’s adopted father, had told Esther not to tell about her family background, which, as you can expect, she was a Jew.
Aside from all the pampering Esther received, I do relate to her story. I wonder how many times I have hidden my past in hopes that the beauty of my present existence is enough to cloud out all that has brought me shame. It’s so easy to become comfortable with who I am now, being delivered by God, and forget that I needed it.
I will be who you want me to be
I recall back to when I first met my husband, and again when I was dating, I know I was two different people. While dating, I felt like I was trying very hard to be accepted, to be enough for someone to love me. Not just with potential partners but even with friends. In my singleness, this was crucial because I spent time figuring out me. Then God sent me my soon-to-be husband; as we continued in our relationship, I felt myself reverting to my old ways. I wondered many times if I showed him who I was, would he turn and run?
Would you still love me if
If I showed him myself, would he still love me? Then God put Esther 4:14 on my heart. (Which just as a side note our oldest daughter’s birthday is April 14th. Isn’t God amazing!) God was scolding me just as Mordecai scolded Esther. I knew that if my husband was from God, then all the things he put me through were for “such a time as this” (Esther 4:14). It is so hard to put yourself out in front of people, but it is even harder when you know you have so much to lose. God put Esther through all of this, put her in a place of such power to save her people; God’s plan was more significant than her. The experiences, struggles, and relationships you have gone through have been all for His purpose. Your trials in life could be the exact thing that will bring someone to Christ. You can lead someone in despair to deliverance through Jesus! Human nature fears what we might lose. But we need to focus more on what God will bring out of it. Esther saved an entire nation, honored her father, and had the love and respect of her husband, and all she had to do was step out in fear and faith in God.
We connect music with so many of our workouts so I hope that this song by Big Daddy Weave will encourage you this week to accept your past and to let God use you for the good of someone else.
Father, thank you for the story of Esther. Thank you for scolding us when we need to return to our true selves to be a servant for others. Lord, we want to pray for those who are struggling to find themselves in you. We pray that you would use each one of us to reach out boldly and share our testimony. God, we want to pray for Faith Fuzed Fitness, help us to keep pushing through, and know that you are present in our journey. Help us to know that we can face all the things with you, and we thank you for bringing us to your plan. Amen.
The Bold Wife
Faith Fuzed Fitness
6022 SW 48th
Amarillo, TX 79109